Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
