need another drink. this is the easiest way
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom