Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.