i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
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The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.