Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.