I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.