Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!