i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
