ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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