I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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