I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
