So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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