somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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