is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize