Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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