Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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