Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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