i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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