just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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