I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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