At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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