Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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