ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.