Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

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  (480): I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it." (1-480): SHUT IT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/mpc8
  Replies (58) Good night (544) Bad night (5399)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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  (208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq
  Replies (16) Good night (945) Bad night (3048) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning

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  (512): remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning http://tfl.nu/4vog
  Replies (15) Good night (1189) Bad night (3506) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

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  (423): headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/dqj3
  Replies (29) Good night (8811) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances

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  (250): My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances http://tfl.nu/ihp8
  Replies (15) Good night (1059) Bad night (4723) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.

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  (716): Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes. http://tfl.nu/xo7e
  Replies (32) Good night (3956) Bad night (1316) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US

  (281): View more from Texas

  WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW

  (281): View more from Texas

  THE REISLING ATRACEX US

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  (281): JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US (281): WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW (281): THE REISLING ATRACEX US http://tfl.nu/6tcy
  Replies (21) Good night (1987) Bad night (1073)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.

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  (614): He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails. http://tfl.nu/6r5a
  Replies (8) Good night (816) Bad night (2498) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy

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  (785): Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy http://tfl.nu/oyu4
  Replies (10) Good night (2431) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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  (253): The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case. http://tfl.nu/nkd8
  Replies (2) Good night (2008) Bad night (920)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (2038) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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  (952): She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high. http://tfl.nu/dd7j
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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  (203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..

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  (217): The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car.. http://tfl.nu/pl9j
  Replies (7) Good night (538) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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  (862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt

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