Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
