I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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