So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
