I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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