fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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