It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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