Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
only if we run a train.
done.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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