i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
