Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?