Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything