Whod you bang
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail