I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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