i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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