Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
