Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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