I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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