there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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