it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!