Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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