It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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