The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
