last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize