I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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