i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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