let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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