Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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