college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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