look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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