youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
