I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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