He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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