Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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