you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to have your abortion
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Houston, we have a squirter
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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