his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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