i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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